Six of the lessons I learnt in 2021
Happy New Year! 2021 was definitely the year of wanting to write and getting stuck and blocked for so many reasons. I am determined not to let that happen in 2022, so here I am in what I am promising myself will be the first weekly post of the year. Let’s do this!
I love to reflect on what the past year has taught me, so that I can move into each new year better equipped than the year before. Last year was a huge year of learning for me in many ways, especially what my family taught me about neurodiversity and what they need to thrive…and in turn what I need to thrive in my life surrounded by neurodivergent people. I thought it would be useful to share a few of the things here. Each one will probably turn into a blog post and/or IG Live (starting back next Wednesday!) of its own but here is a little summary.
1. Be gentle and consistent and positive changes will happen.
It can often feel like I am trying a way of doing something to help make life calmer and easier for my children, and it’s having no impact at all. And then all of a sudden things seem to click and I realise that it has been helping after all. We’ve had so many struggles with sleep, confidence, routine, food etc. but a gentle, consistent approach that doesn’t have a time limit on it (or a time limit that is way further into the future than you initially might expect), will have positive change. Probably not always but I think in so many cases it will. The minute I let go of all ideas of age related expectations, everything got easier for me. I think we should do this for all children but I think it’s especially helpful when your child has additional needs and you’re stressing about when they are supposed to do something/try something/be something. Take that away and you’ve instantly got rid of a whole heap of stress. Yes, I never imagined we’d still be having pretty big sleep issues at this point in our parenting adventure but it’s not going to be this way forever. This season is just lasting longer than we imagined it would and that’s okay.
2. I have a lot to learn about the combination of ADHD and Autism.
Last year was the year that I really started to understand how extra complicated things are when there is a combination of Autism and ADHD. I had not really taken time to think about them separately before but I did know that I was never quite sure what my husband or girls would be like each day (moment!), and in quite a big way. I know that it’s far more complex than this but it feels like some days are led by Autism and some by ADHD. For now that’s a good place for me to start learning more and working out how to support them all better. 2020 is going to be the year that I get to know ADHD a whole lot better, especially with GCSE exams on the horizon!
3. People (including me!) are much kinder and patient with Autistic children compared to Autistic adults.
I talked about this on one of my IG Lives last year and I got a big response in my DMs afterwards. It felt so good to say it out loud and know that I’m not alone in this. I have so much more to write and talk about around this, so watch this space!
4. Society’s perception, understanding and acceptance of neurodivergence is changing and will continue to change for the better.
It was wonderful to read so many articles about neurodivergence in 2021. It feels like things are really moving forward in a positive way and my children have more and more neurodivergent adults to look up to, which I think is brilliant. It gives me so much hope for my children and for future generations.
5. The younger a person is diagnosed the easier it can be for both the parents and the person receiving the diagnosis.
Gosh this has been huge for me over the past year. My 15 year old was diagnosed in 2021 at the age of 14. Her sister was diagnosed when she was 6 and the experience has been so different. As a parent it is so much easier in so many ways to support at 6 year old compared to a teenager. I am making progress though, one day at a time. Definitely lots more to write about this one!
6. I am going to keep sharing about all of this stuff!
Two years ago I really felt that an important part of my future was to share my experiences in order to support other mothers. Last year I started my IG Lives and testing out what else I might do and although I didn’t do half of what I planned due to moving across the country and it taking up every ounce of my energy, I ended the year 100% certain that this is what I’m here to do. So, lots more will be coming this year. It feels so right and so exciting.
I would love to hear if any of these resonate with you. What was the biggest learning you had in 2021? xo
