Meeting With Your Child’s Teacher
Last week I had my first meeting at our new school (we recently moved to Somerset and I have lots to say about that, which I will catch up on very soon!) with the SENDCO and my daughter’s teacher. It was the most helpful meeting about my children’s needs that I have ever had with a school, so I wanted to share some thoughts about it here in case they are helpful for you. It also helps me to keep a record for the future too, as this won’t be the last meeting I have!
1. Don’t be afraid to ask for a meeting. This was me and it was thanks to Rudi that I realised that yes, I need to ask for what we need. It’s not that I was afraid but I thought perhaps eventually they would invite me for a meeting. I’m also very aware of how busy teachers are. But Rudi deserves to get the help and support she needs, and so do other children. If you find it tricky to ask for yourself and your child, then hold onto the fact that there will be many families coming behind you. The more teachers know what our children need, the more they can help many others too.
2. In the lead up to the meeting (and ideally before you ask for one), really listen to what is worrying your child and what is worrying you. Perhaps you don’t know and that’s okay but the more detective work you can do in advance, the more helpful it will be.
3. Think about the future, so this isn’t just about this academic year. This really helps me to ask for what I know my children need to help them as they get older. Rudi can mask and muddle her way through the school day at the age of 8. She’s smart, so even if she’s struggling to focus, she can focus enough for this not to be noticed. This will not be the case as she goes up the school and there’s so much more to learn in each lesson.
Some useful things that we decided would help Rudi now. I had not thought about these but they are brilliant and pretty simple ideas.
1. A coloured card that she can place on her desk or hold in the air if she is struggling. This means she does not have to hold it all in with a smile and huge panic inside. We hope it will stop some of her after school meltdowns and help her to slowly start asking for help.
2. A worry book. Rudi often struggles to say what she’s worrying about and writing things down at home has helped her so much over the past couple of years. Now she can also do this at school. It means that her teacher can see her worries and help her, rather than needing to wait for an email from me. I also think she will begin to see where Rudi is struggling and then we can work on more ways to help her. A lot of her worries are because she hasn’t understood the instructions or she can’t remember what she needs to bring in from home for the next day. This is a skill that she needs to work on for life (both the asking for something to be clarified and the asking for written instructions), so starting to help her work on this at the age of 8 will be really beneficial for her.
3. A plan for school assemblies. I had never considered how daunting and stressful assemblies must be for my children. For the past year they haven’t had any due to Covid restrictions but now they are back and are causing lots of stress. Of course they are. Loads of people, never quite enough space, the need to concentrate on what’s being said in a room jam packed full of distractions and the panic that you could be asked a questions or have to go up on the stage for some reason. It’s a lot. So, now we have Rudi’s assembly plan and she’s very happy that it includes sitting close to her teacher.
There were other things we discussed but these are the ones I wanted to share. If you ever want a more personal chat about this stuff then please feel free to email me or drop me a DM on Instagram. I might take a couple of days to get back to you but I am here! xo
