Create A Summer For You
Hello! It’s been ages since I’ve been here because we’ve been busy buying our first home, leaving London and setting up a new life in Somerset. Lots more on that very soon but today, as we are at the end of the academic year, I wanted to write something about the Summer holidays. These are words that I definitely need, so I hope they help you too!
This is our third Summer holidays after our Autism diagnoses and I am feeling more confident about my holiday planning now but I know that I still need to give myself a little pep talk to remind myself that this is about our family and our Summer break doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
It can be so easy to get caught up with what everyone else is doing and to feel like you need to fill all the days with stuff, time out of the house and family time. Knowing that your children need to have enough quiet home days to enable them to manage and enjoy the lovely things that we have planned is important but it can still be hard to stick to it, especially if someone asks if you are free.
I now mark these days out in the Summer calendar and make them as important as anything else that we have booked in. This helps me to commit to this and it’s also a helpful way of making the calendar look full and thought out, which it of course is but we’re just not always as good at realising that a quiet home day is just as important and wonderful as an adventure.
Another thing that I have learnt is so important for my children is to have 1-2-1 time or even time with two children and one adult. It’s so easy to think that as a family you are supposed to do everything together. We know that it’s much easier for all of us if we don’t try to do everything together. Those times are usually the most challenging, so now I think about the activity and think about who really wants to do it. If the answer is everyone, I think about whether that should be everyone at once or perhaps in two groups! We have a big family and our children are getting more and more independent, so these might not be things you need to or can think about but it’s certainly been a huge relief for all of us to consider this stuff. I now really understand that this doesn’t mean we’re not trying hard enough or we are not working as a family, we really are doing both of those things. We are really listening to what our children need.
This Summer I want you to commit to creating the holidays that work for you and your family. The moment you start to compare your Summer to ones you see on social media or amongst your friends and family, take a deep breath and remember that these Summers are for other people and families and that this is also just a glimpse of a Summer and not the whole story.
For many reasons (including Covid!) you might not be able to create your dream Summer this year. You might not have enough childcare, money, time off work etc. to do all that you would love to do but try to put that all to one side and create the Summer that works for you and your family this year. This is where you are and I know that you can make it into what you need it to be.
I am planning our Summer much later than I usually do, mainly because we only moved into our new home a month ago, and then my youngest has been isolating from school as there were two Covid cases in her school bubble, but I am slowing putting it together with a real focus on a relaxed pace, creativity at home, and the joy of little things and moments. I will share my creative activity list next week. Happy planning and remember to take one day (one moment) at a time. xo
