Back To School Worries

This has been a bit of an odd holiday. The first half was freezing cold, the lockdown rules were all still in place and it really just felt like more of the same. Definitely no school holiday vibe to it. And then the rules changed for the second half and the sunshine arrived, so we did some things like going to the toy shop, driving out of London for the day (for the first time since last Summer) and meeting up with friends in the park. We crammed all this into the last part of the holiday, rather than sensibly spreading things out with rest days in-between. Those rest days are vital for my children to thrive and now I’m left with children whose social energy levels are super low and it’s time to return to school. Part of me regrets that we crammed in so much but part of me is really pleased because we are ending the holidays feeling like we had a holiday. 

But now it’s time to go back to school and all my children are extra anxious about this. It is absolutely heartbreaking when you have to send your children to school when they really don’t want to go, especially when you really know just how anxious they really are all day. Of course school will tell me that they are fine when they are there because they are masters of disguise and want to do what they believe is the right thing, which is to smile and do their school work well. So, on the outside they will be smiling and doing great work but on the inside they will be crying and counting down the time to home time. 

This morning I will be making sticker charts and thinking of rewards to get them through the first week, and possibly every week after that. Even though my youngest is now 8, sticker charts are still a useful and much loved tool,  and the charts also make me feel like I am doing something. I am acknowledging that it really is hard and they really are trying hard. 

I will also draw a heart on Rudi’s hand and one on my hand. If she needs the feeling of a hug, she can press the heart. We also both know that the hearts mean that we’ll both be thinking of each other all day long. Of course I would be doing that even without the heart but it visually confirms to Rudi that I am. A small and beautiful gesture that I love. 

If your children are struggling to go back to school, know that I’m sending you a big hug and lots of love. This is never easy and I think that Covid-19 and the lockdowns have just made it even harder.  One day at a time. xo