Thriving During School Holidays
Earlier this week I shared my tips for thriving (not just surviving!) the school holidays with neurodiverse children on my weekly Instagram Live, which you can now find here on my IGTV.
I promised some ideas for younger and older children and I also thought it would be helpful to write my tips here too.
I am writing this on day three of the Easter holidays. I usually do all this preparation before the holidays begin but you know…Covid, lockdowns etc. mean everything is a little behind in 2021 so far. But do not worry, even trying this for one day of your holiday will make a difference and be useful, so it’s all good.
1. Manage expectations - I used to countdown to the school holidays with so much excitement and then get really, really upset when my children took a few days to come to terms with not being at school. Did they not want to be with me at home? Why were they crying about not being at school? Over the past couple of years I have realised that it’s not about me or the holidays, but an adjustment to the change of routine. Now Oren is at secondary school he is so exhausted at the end of term, that the holidays now make complete sense to him!
I also need to manage my expectations about the pace of the holidays. It needs to be really slow at the beginning and I need to really pay attention to the length of the holiday. I learnt the hard way that packing the week long half-term holidays with activities, sports camps and days out would lead to disaster! Not planning anything also leads to disaster but I am learning with each holiday how to balance and manage everyone’s needs and expectations.
2. Spread things out. This one is critical for a successful holiday and it’s important to remember whether we are at home or away on holiday. Make time for rest and do not over commit. Oren is brilliant at explaining this to me now and because we have talked about it a lot he can be really clear about what he can manage. It is usually a rhythm of day out, day at home, day out etc. But by day out, I don’t mean the whole day out every time…I mean something out of the house. If these events are social then we might need two days at home or quieter, family only days between them. To get a sense of things, I will talk to my children about my plans and I can hear in the voice or see in their body language if I’ve overbooked. And now I have the confidence to change things. My children come first and the more I remind myself of that, the more I listen and learn, the easier all this gets. You do not have to say yes to every invitation, is something I say to myself regularly.
3. Have a daily plan…even if you don’t need to stick to it. This is critical for Rudi and therefore the rest of the family. If Rudi is calm, everyone has a good day! The plan can be flexible for Rudi but if it’s not there at all there is a lot of panic. Rudi doesn’t understand the concept of time and that can be really scary if you don’t know what is happening next or have any kind of structure. So, a simple list on the kitchen whiteboard saves so many meltdowns. Now she is older, she can adapt the plan as we go through the day if she needs to by simply wiping something off and writing something else. I don’t always have to do the daily plan because her siblings like to help with this and Rudi herself enjoys writing it too.
4. Prepare activities in advance. Last year I made this video about my activity boxes for the holidays. These boxes helped me through lockdown and I will be making some more this weekend for the Easter holidays. When Rudi gets bored she goes into a meltdown very quickly and it can take time to find all the bits and bobs we need to do something together. If your child is screaming and shouting this isn’t always easy! Preparation is key. Below I’ve listed some activity ideas. Not all of them fit into a box but you get the idea!
5. Be really kind to yourself. This should probably be at the top of this list of tips as it’s absolutely key. You are doing a brilliant job. Even if you have a holiday full of meltdowns and anxiety, you are still doing a brilliant job. I always try to take the first day back to school for myself to just potter about and have a little holiday day of my own. I often do this before the holiday begins too. During the holidays I will also make sure, if possible, to have some time for myself. You are amazing and deserve this! xo
Ideas for holiday activities at home (or close to home)
- Arts and Crafts (Check out this Pinterest board and this one too)
- Board Games
- Puzzles (I love having a puzzle with lots of pieces that family members can contribute to over a few days)
- Reading
- Writing hand-written letters to friends and family
- Having a clear-out together - you could make this into a fun challenge by all having to find 1 thing to get rid of on day 1, 2 on day 2 etc.
- Sewing seeds
- Baking and Cooking together (for older children challenge them to learn how to cook 7 dishes…one for each day of the week!)
- Films
- Photo challenge (colours, word a day, moments at home, Spring…)
- Scavenger hunt
- Write a story or a poem
- Word searches/crosswords/sudoku
- Write a Summer bucket list
- Share favourite songs (I also love this music jar idea)
- Go for a colour walk (look for one colour a day, all the colours of the rainbow, as many colours as possible. You could also do a colour hunt inside)
Enjoy! xo
