Weekends Can Be Hard, So Here’s A Plan
Every Friday I get so excited about the weekend ahead, the time together as a family, the time for adventures, the time to go slowly, the time we get to set the agenda. Thankfully I have never let go of the hope and anticipation of weekends because sadly so many of them are a struggle, with endless meltdowns, tired children and no-one seeming remotely interested in doing anything that I suggest!
For weekends to really work for my family they probably need to be three days long. A transition day from school to home that won’t necessarily be a very easy and then two weekend days, which would in theory be easier for everyone to actually enjoy.
Unfortunately that is not an option, so instead of spending another Sunday evening feeling really fed up about how another weekend hasn’t gone the way I thought it would, I have decided to spend some time today reflecting on what I need and would like from weekends and what my children need. And how I can begin to plan weekends that nurture the whole family and bring us time for happy memories and joy. I am sure I am not alone in weekends being hard for neurodiverse families, so I am hoping this will help you too!
What I like to get from the weekend :
Calmer, less rushed mornings
Time together as a family and/or 1-2-1 with my children
A long dog walk in nature
Day trips
Time for working on the house and garden
Creative projects
Evenings playing board games or watching a film
What my children need from the weekend :
Quiet rest
Time on their own
Time with me, especially Rudi
No schedule….or a schedule (depending on which child!)
Time indoors
Time outdoors (but they do not always recognise that this makes them feel better)
Three of my children have an art class on a Saturday, which they all really enjoy and it does mean that even if that’s the only out of the house activity they do all weekend, they have left the house. This makes me feel better and they enjoy it, so that is a win!
Something that I find really tricky, is that I could plan every weekend for us all, which would help so much but I can never predict how my husband will be feeling. How will his week have gone? Will he have family energy, work energy, running energy, DIY energy when he wake up on a Saturday morning? He is always predictably unpredictable, which I will write more about soon, so who knows if what I have planned will work for him. That doesn’t mean I can’t ever plan anything but it does mean that I need to be mindful in my planning if the plans involve Stef.
I am determined to create happier weekends in 2022, so here is my action plan. I am going to try this for the next four weekends and then review how it’s going. I’m going to put a note in my calendar now, to do a mini review post here to keep me accountable. It’s far too easy to slip back into old ways and just feel like life is hard and there’s nothing we can do about it, and I want to avoid that.
Look at the next few weeks ahead and see how many things are already booked into the calendar. Is the calendar looking too full or is there any space for a family day trip?
Write a list of films, games and creative activities we would all like. Be mindful of different ages and tastes, and the value of 1:2:1 time as well as the whole family time. Get things ready in advance of the weekend, especially preparing the creative activities.
Write a list of local dog walks that take about an hour and take no more than 15 minutes to get to in the car.
Think about the garden and home tasks I would like to get done in the next 4 weeks and schedule as much of this in as possible during the week, so it’s not boring for the children. Are there any tasks that the children would like to do? Seed planting, building our vegetable patch, painting?
Put together a weekend basket for Rudi. Rotate toys, activities, sensory stuff, so that it always feels new and exciting. And special! This will hopefully help her before a big panic about being bored. Do this as part of my routine on a Thursday, so if I need to get a book from the library or some new art materials I have time on Friday. Batch as much of this as possible, so perhaps plan and put together 4 baskets worth on one Thursday, so that a month is done at a time. Also be aware of the half-term break and how useful this will be during school holidays.
Put together my own weekend basket, so that when the children want me close while they do their own thing, I have everything in one place and can be wherever they would like me to be without me feeling frustrated that I’m not getting anything done. This is particularly important on weekends where Stef is away or busy doing his own thing without interruption! I do not want to spend years of weekends feeling bitter about and jealous of his freedom. I adore being with my children but also have things I want to do for myself. I’m sure you can relate!
Each Thursday create the plan for the weekend that goes up on the fridge, so everyone can see it in advance of the weekend. Have I forgotten anything? Does it feel too much? Are we all looking forward to the weekend ahead?
Take at least one weekend day away from social media because seeing other people’s highlights of their weekends does not help with any of this at all.
Wow! I love spending time to write reflections and lists like this because I am already feeling better about weekends than I did when I sat down to write this post! Hooray for writing, blogging and sharing. I’m so excited to get planning on Thursday! And it might just be the excuse I need to buy one of the baskets I see in the shop window every time I walk home from school. xo
