Halloween Tips For A Neurodiverse Family

Halloween can be fun, scary, exciting, scary and so much more! It’s a celebration that I didn’t grow up with, so over the years of raising my children we have developed our traditions and expectations together.

Two of my children really love Halloween, one really doesn’t and the other one is feeling her way into it….she definitely likes it but we have to be extra thoughtful about how we design a Halloween that works for her, and indeed works for the whole family. I am still listening, watching and learning, so this is very much a work in progress, so if you have any thoughts or tips please do share.

Balancing Needs - if you have more than one child you will need to think about balancing the needs of your children. I know you will do this all the time but sometimes I find myself forgetting this during holiday/celebration time because I have my own expectations of what should happen. Ahead of any celebration I now take time to think about where my children are at this year, what might have changed, what do I need to consider this year? And then I will also talk to them about what they would like to happen, what they might be worried about and how we can work together to have the best Halloween for everyone. These are life skills in action and really good to practice when it’s for something fun.

Costumes - wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a costume range for children and adults with sensory needs around clothing? I find costumes can be even more complicated than school uniform for my children! Itchy, tight, layered…I could go on and on. I love that over the years they have learnt what works for them and what really doesn’t, and they have managed their costume expectations accordingly. That doesn’t mean there is not still difficulty around this but we are all learning and in a better place. Gentle reminders in advance can help too, not only with what you think might be a clothing challenge but also in reminding them that they might be able to manage to wear what they want to for just an hour or less. Halloween can be a quick dressing up affair if it needs to be.

Craft and Decorations - my favourite part of any celebration! Remember that Halloween doesn’t just have to mean going Trick or Treating, it can be enjoyed and celebrated in advance with craft activities and decorating the house. My Pinterest board has lots of ideas if you don’t know where to start.

The Planning of the Day/Evening Itself - my children have all talked in great length about how unfair it us that Halloween rarely falls in their half-term holiday, which is the week before and how annoying it is that we can’t agree that Trick or Treating happens on the nearest Saturday to 31st October! Perhaps this generation can change things for their children but for now we’re where we at and this year it’s on a Monday and it’s the very first day back to school. This is where plenty of planning and plenty of craft and decorating in advance really helps. That way it doesn’t feel like a rush to get back from school, get dressed up, go out, home for dinner, shower, bed. All in a whirlwind! I know already that Rudi especially will find this really challenging, so before Monday we will be writing out our Halloween timetable, so she can visual see and understand how the evening will go and who is going to be here when.

Being Prepared For The Sensory Overload - this can be really hard to prepare for because you don’t really know what’s going to happen when you are out trick or treating but I don’t think we’ve had a sensory overload free Halloween yet, so as the parent or carer try to be as grounded and calm as you can be. I prepare myself during the day with meditation, affirmations and if possible a slower paced day, so that my cup is jam packed full of patience, love and energy.

I hope these thoughts help you on 31st October and in the lead up to Halloween. Remember it might not be the Halloween you imaged your children would have and that’s okay. Don’t compare it to the Halloween of everyone on the internet. Perhaps turn off social media for a while if you find yourself triggered. And finally, is there something about Halloween that you really love, which your child might find difficult or might get lost in the holding of everyone else? For me it’s all about the craft, so I make sure I get involved with that in the lead-up and then I’m happy. I find it so much easier to manage all celebrations if I find something that I love about each one and make sure that I honour that.

Sending love. xo