How staying at home has helped me understand my introverted self

Until this year I have never identified as an introvert, so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered just how much I have loved staying safe at home and not seeing anyone outside of my family for weeks and weeks. Of course there have been tricky parts and the small (insane!!) matter of moving house ( I will share more about that very soon) but for the most part I have absolutely loved being at home with my family in our safe bubble of love, joy and creativity.

As the weeks went by I began to really listen to my heart even more. I looked back at my younger self and knew I would have enjoyed this time at home as much as my children have been. I started to think about the things that I find exhausting, the things that give me migraines…never food or allergies but events and people, and the things that cause me stress…the school gates, parties, going to stay with people.

Ever since childhood I have always got involved with things, I’ve performed in concerts, I’ve given talks to lots of people and I’ve always had lots of friends. I’ve always said yes to too many things but then collapsed in a heap at the end. I always thought I was an extrovert because in some areas I have confidence, for example getting up on a stage and giving a speech but I have never given myself the time to appreciate and understand why so many other things take so much energy that they leave me with a migraine.

I love seeing my friends but my favourite is when I can see one or two of them at a time. And my friends that allow me to be completely myself. And friends that really inspire me.

And I adore having a big family but all six of us are introverts, something I suspected but have really understood this year. It’s like living in a magical, safe, nurturing bubble of energy. And I love it.

I have no idea why I didn’t really realise this before! I have had my suspicions but didn’t ever really have the time to make sense of it all until this year. I’m sure some people reading this will think it’s so obvious and other people will be surprised. I know that labels are not always helpful and you don’t have to be 100% introverted but what I do know is that understanding that my energy comes from within and acknowledging that I have never felt so free and happy to be myself as I have done during this time at home, is going to really help me to navigate life after this.

Taking this time to go within has also really helped me to understand my children more and to appreciate that when they ask to go home or to have a day at home, they really mean it and need it. Their creativity and energy comes from home and from within themselves too. When we do too many things away from home and see too many people, we all get overwhelmed.

It can be so easy to think that we should be doing all the things and seeing all the people. It’s so easy to think we are missing out and force ourselves to do things we think we are supposed to do. But I know this time at home has taught all six of us that where possible we should choose to do the things that we want to do and not the things we feel we should do. We should protect our energy whenever we can and that it’s wonderful when we do.

This book is now at the top of my reading list! I am so grateful that this time has helped me to understand myself so much more and realise what I need, want and don’t want in the future. x